Anxiety is a topic, I like to openly discuss here on the blog as its one of the ways that I cope with the issues that it brings me. This month, my anxiety has been quite high! I started uni, met new friends, changed hours at work and also there has been a lot of arguments at home.
Lets start with Uni and New Friends. My anxiety the first week of Uni was horrible and resulted in a panic attack on the Thursday. I was so upset and angry at myself for not making any new friends because I was too nervous to talk to anyone. This made me want to quit uni and not return as I could not face 4 years of this feeling, however, the Friday was a godsend. I have a mentoring family and its where I have met one of my best friends Chloe. She is super nice and thankfully accepted me into her group. They are all really lovely and I can't wait to see our friendships grow over the next 4 years! After that week, I have attended classes and lectures and its genuinely not been as bad! Everyone seems really nice, except one group who I caught searching people on facebook and laughing at their profiles, and I cannot wait to make even more friends.
My work hours are making me an emotional wreck. I am currently covering 5am shifts as one member of the team has had some personal problems. It really is messing with my head. Its causing me not to sleep as I know that some people who work in the mornings do not like to work with my team. How awful is that! I genuinely love talk so I try to seem friendly at all times, however, some members of this morning shift just don't seem like nice characters. I had to do my old shift as well one of the days and that was even worse. The team I work with are hard to take on especially after escaping for 2 months. I also really don't enjoy the managers who are on this shift. Career change? I think so.
Home... It's just been horrible. Everyone keeps fighting over the dog who I love so much! Apparently I don't like him? I don't know but they keep targeting me. My sister is also getting more and more cheeky as the days go on and I am finding it difficult to tackle. I am also the target of weight comments constantly and It makes me so upset. Home is a place I am meant to escape my anxiety but I just can't! Im coming home and sitting in a room not talking to anyone and crying. Its not helping. I love them all so much but I don't know how much longer I can take.
There was also another 2 situations that I am not comfortable talking about... I was so stressed about these 2 situations that I ended up getting so drunk and being sick up the street. Lets just say past experiences still haunt you and new experiences make you think that you'll be single for eternity? Please get better!
So this month was okay... not the best or the worst.
Thanks for Reading Today!
Ross
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